How To: Dating With Chronic Pain or Dating With Invisible Disabilities

by Janet Jay February 12, 2023

Dating with chronic pain is tough, especially if there’s nothing visible about your condition. Finding someone using dating dating apps like Hinge or Tinder is hard to begin with, but dating with invisible disabilities adds a whole other level of difficulty.

In some ways using those apps would be easier if I was visibly disabled and used a wheelchair or crutches. It would at least be simpler than trying to put together a profile when I’m dating with chronic pain and dating with invisible disabilities like fibromyalgia, migraine disease, back pain, joint pain, nerve pain, and mental health issues (that’s what I’m dealing with)! But it also applies to a wide range of other issues like EDS, POTS, arthritis, Crohn’s, lupus, other autoimmune disorders, and/or any disability where you look like everyone else.

Most of the time you wouldn’t know I’m in pain, even though I always am. But it hugely affects my life, and it’s important that anybody I have as a partner be aware of it and OK with it. No, actually, it’s important that anybody I have as a partner be supportive, empathetic and caring about it.

But how do you find that person through the hellscape that is modern dating apps? If you’re dating with chronic pain or dating with invisible disabilities, consider the following before writing your profile.

February 12, 2023 8 comments

Pain Management

Graphic Novels About Chronic Pain: “Pain Is Really Strange”

by Janet Jay February 5, 2023

written by Janet Jay

On a background of neurons, cover of the book "pain is really strange," text reads "graphic novels about pain," "pain is really strange, by steve haines, art by sophie standing, janetjay.com"

On a background of neurons, the cover of a graphic novel called "pain is really strange" with a head, shown with brain with a little man on top with horns with sound waves coming from them. Text reads "Graphic novels about pain: "Pain is Really Strange," by steve haines, art by sophie standing, janetjay.com"

Graphic novels about chronic pain are few and far between: “Pain Is Really Strange” is a welcome find

I love graphic novels. I was at the library recently and stumbled on “Pain Is Really Strange,” one of the only graphic novels about chronic pain I’ve ever seen. (Thanks, Austin Public Library!)

Drawing of a man sitting before a poster of the human body with red lines representing nerves/pain, with a speech bubble saying "pain is really strange"

Explaining “What is pain? How do nerves work?”

Above all, the book does a really good job of explaining important stuff simply. Without feeling overwhelming, it not only explains the difference between chronic and acute pain but also tackles fairly complicated concepts like neurotags and brain plasticity. Getting the combo of science and visuals right isn’t an easy trick. I was especially impressed at how well this team accomplished it.

February 5, 2023 0 comment

Pain Management

Acupuncture for Pain: Complementary Medicine That Works

by Janet Jay January 14, 2023

written by Janet Jay

This ancient complementary therapy may help chronic neck pain, lower back pain, joint pain, nerve pain, mental health, invisible illnesses and so much more

Acupuncture for pain is one of the oldest forms of complementary medicine on earth. Read on for more about the history of acupuncture (and acupuncture for pain, specifically). I’ll dive into what it is, what we understand about how it works, and if it may help you.

January 14, 2023 1 comment

Mental Health Pain Management

Best Quotes About Chronic Pain, Disability, & Mental Health

by Janet Jay January 2, 2023

written by Janet Jay

on an abstract background of mountains and sky, text reads "the best quotes about chronic pain, disability, mental health and life in general, janetjay.com"

Life with a chronic illness or disability is hard– hell, life alone is hard, and those of us with pain are carrying a heavier load than most. I think most wisdom comes from experience: the best quotes about chronic pain, disability and mental health come from those living with them day in and day out.

It’s Not Easy To Find A Quote about Disability That’s Inspiring Without Being Saccharine

Do I need inspiration and motivation as much as the next girl? Sure. But a lot of the “inspirational’ quotes about chronic pain and mental health challenges are too sweet or too sappy to be helpful for my sarcastic, sardonic self. So this year, when I see the rare quote about disability that really resonates with me, I’ve decided I’m going to make a graphic for it so I don’t forget. I’ll keep updating as I find more quotes about chronic pain (etc etc) that are encouraging without being… too much.

January 2, 2023 0 comment

Pain Management Personal Stories

Top 15 Around-the-House Gifts For Chronic Pain Patients

by Janet Jay December 4, 2022

written by Janet Jay

on background of wrapped presents and snowflakes, text reads "top 15 gifts that help chronic pain patients around the house"

Gifts for chronic pain patients can be so dang hard to shop for! So I’ve thought about all the discoveries and doohickeys I’ve used over the years to put together the ultimate list of the top dozen around-the-house gifts for people like me. Everyone’s limitations are different, but as someone with invisible disabilities and chronic illnesses I’ve found all of these items to be relatively inexpensive ways of making my day-to-day life easier.

Whether it’s cleaning, working, moving around, walking the dogs or just picking something up off the floor, these gifts for chronic pain patients will be used and appreciated long after the holidays have passed.

December 4, 2022 0 comment