I’ve been in constant pain since I was 15. Nobody knew why, and I didn’t get any kind of a valid diagnosis until my late 20s/early 30s. So I have a lot of experience with chronic pain… and while it took me a long time to claim the word ‘disability,’ it applies to me too. I hope that this site includes some tricks and tips I’ve figured out to make life with chronic pain and/or a disability easier. Or at least some words that might make people feel less alone.
Dating with chronic pain is tough, especially if there’s nothing visible about your condition. Finding someone using dating dating apps like Hinge or Tinder is hard to begin with, but dating with invisible disabilities adds a whole other level of difficulty.
In some ways using those apps would be easier if I was visibly disabled and used a wheelchair or crutches. It would at least be simpler than trying to put together a profile when I’m dating with chronic pain and dating with invisible disabilities like fibromyalgia, migraine disease, back pain, joint pain, nerve pain, and mental health issues (that’s what I’m dealing with)! But it also applies to a wide range of other issues like EDS, POTS, arthritis, Crohn’s, lupus, other autoimmune disorders, and/or any disability where you look like everyone else.
Most of the time you wouldn’t know I’m in pain, even though I always am. But it hugely affects my life, and it’s important that anybody I have as a partner be aware of it and OK with it. No, actually, it’s important that anybody I have as a partner be supportive, empathetic and caring about it.
