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pain: chronic / words: iconic

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Guilt-Free Self-Care Tips for Introverts

by admin February 17, 2022
written by admin
Pink background with hand holding coffee cup reading "busy introverting," text: Guilt-free self care tips for introverts, janetjay.com
Pink background with hand holding coffee cup reading "busy introverting," text: Guilt-free self care tips for introverts, janetjay.com
Bottle of clear hand sanitizer with label on it that looks like the famous marquee at el arroyo with text that reads "turns out i was social distancing the whole time"

Guest post by Melissa Howard of Stop Suicide

There’s a wide range of self-care tips for introverts out there, from putting down devices and practicing mindfulness to learning how to say no without feeling guilty. For individuals who have social anxiety, chronic pain, or just need to have quiet alone time, there are several methods of care to choose from.

It’s important to think about your specific issues before creating a routine or plan. For instance, if you’ve been wanting to go back to school but are having trouble with the in-class aspect, take a look at some online programs and set some goals.

Here are a few self-care tips for introverts to put into practice:

Adjust your goals to work for you

Sometimes it’s necessary to make some adjustments to your plans in order to accommodate your physical or mental health, which is why online degree programs are such great options. Not only can you work on your own time when your schedule allows, you can pursue an associate, bachelor’s, or master’s degree from an accredited school within the comfort of your own home. Check out the various programs offered virtually, and make sure the school of your choice offers competitive tuition rates so you can lock in the best deal.

Note from Janet: make sure to check out their disability services office too! The support that the disability office at my university provided made all the difference.

Man on a bicycle cycles past wall with "NO" painted on it, a valuable skill for self-care for introverts

Learn how to say no

Whether it’s for school, work, or family obligations, sometimes introverts have a hard time saying no without feeling guilty. Even if you have a good reason to decline, it can create discomfort or anxiety at times.

Learning how to say no when you can’t give your time or energy to someone else is important, whether it involves your professional or your personal life. It is possible to do so while remaining empathetic and kind, but it takes a little practice.

Give yourself permission to say no even when it’s hard. This is a crucial step in creating boundaries, which is important for introverted individuals. 

Appreciate your own company… guilt-free

While you’re learning to set boundaries, you may find that it’s a confidence booster. Finding self-esteem through your own actions can be extremely rewarding and can help you appreciate yourself a bit more. This means you can look for new hobbies that are perfect for people who like to spend time alone, try some solo workouts, or spend time with yourself without the negative feelings that sometimes come with being alone. You might try complementary treatments like meditation and yoga–which can be beneficial for a well-rounded health regimen–or learn something new, like a foreign language. Set up a spa night at home and pamper yourself for an act of self-care that helps you feel better both physically and mentally.

Woman practices self-care for introverts sitting reading under a tree

Get outdoors

While you’re practicing new hobbies or getting in a workout, consider integrating them with some outdoor time. Getting outside can boost your mood and can help you feel more connected to the world. (Especially if you’ve been avoiding social situations recently due to the pandemic!) Take your dog on a walk through the neighborhood, plant a garden, set up a small workstation on the back porch, or gather some supplies to practice your hobby of choice at the park. Not only will this help you find a good mental/physical health balance, but it also benefits your sleep quality. 

Practicing self-care sometimes requires an open mind. Start small and try a few different things that you think might work for you; if they don’t, move on to another technique. If you’re also living with chronic pain or physical mobility issues, seek support from your primary care physician before trying a new activity.


Guest post by Melissa Howard, founder of Stop Suicide, which provides info, articles, resources, how to contact helplines, and more. “Every suicide is preventable. After losing her younger brother to suicide, Melissa Howard felt compelled to create Stop Suicide. By providing helpful resources and articles on her website, she hopes to build a lifeline of information. Melissa attended school at University of Colorado, Colorado Springs and currently works as an executive assistant.”

Do YOU have what it takes to write a guest post for janetjay.com? I make no money from this site so if you can get paid elsewhere, I say godspeed. But if want to write about anything relating to pain, I’m always looking for new ideas! HMU on social media or at pain.chronic.words.iconic@gmail.com

February 17, 2022 0 comment
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chronic painMental healthPersonal experienceWeight & chronic painwriting

Chronic Pain, Weight, and The Challenge of Getting Through The Damn Day

by Janet Jay May 13, 2021
written by Janet Jay
Chronic pain, weight, and the challenge of getting through the damn day
Chronic pain, weight, and the challenge of getting through the damn day

One thing that can be really hard to communicate to people that don’t have both chronic pain and weight issues is that it’s not just about hurting all the time,  it’s about the pain taking up so much of your being, so much of your energy, and so much of yourself that you just don’t have enough to deal with other things. Stuff like anger, stuff like weight gain, stuff like frustration, stuff like anxiety–  it’s all tied in together. It’s so, so much easier to keep your temper, or to keep from complaining about something, when you don’t have 90% of your self tied up in just being there and being out in public and interacting with people like a normal human being for a little while. It’s so much easier to eat healthy food when you’re physically able to stand at a stove to cook without it causing you worse pain, when you can walk around the grocery store and choose what food looks good. Because guess what: as much as we like to Protestant-work-ethic our way into “all you need is to work hard and believe in yourself,” it’s just not true. There’s only so much a person has to give; there’s only so much energy and self that a person can bring to a day. Can you rally and push through? Of course, but can you do that every day? No, absolutely not, and it shouldn’t be something that you try to expect of yourself.

Seriously, you should read about spoon theory! Click to read the essay that started it all

Pain, Pressure, and Pizza

I love tacos!! (and pizza) Too much!
It’s true. I do.

So when, again, 90% of yourself is dedicated to just getting through the day and doing the things that you need to do,  it’s so much harder to bite your tongue, or swallow a criticism, or to say, “I’m gonna force myself to eat a salad even though I hate salads” than to just say “fuck it I’m gonna order a pizza because my life is miserable right now. I know it is not good for me but damn that moment when I first bite into it sure is amazing no matter if I’m hurting or not.” And sometimes that’s all there is in a day, when you’re hurting so bad you can’t even sit up to watch TV, when it’s just a haze of pain flowing through the days and weeks like molasses. Sometimes that ten minutes of pizza is the best moment you’ll have in the day. Few people deal with days that shitty on a regular basis. They don’t get what our lives are like.

Weight as a function of pain 

When my pain and depression and anxiety were at their worst, I gained weight. When I finally found treatments and medication that helped enormously, suddenly I had more energy to spend on exercise, cooking, and trying to change habits in the long term. And I did! I’ve lost a lot of weight! It absolutely wasn’t easy, and certainly involved willpower and tough choices, but at the same time, it’s SO much more doable than it would have been when I was at my worst. People without disabilities have a hard time with weight loss, even with the full spectrum of exercise at their disposal. Take those options away, and obviously, you’re going to have a harder time. Adding a chronic condition on top of the normal weight loss struggle completely changes the equation. (And that’s true about things other than weight: take anything already difficult and combine it with chronic pain and it’s more than the sum of the two, it’s more like chronic pain acts as a multiplier. Weight loss squared. Temper keeping to the third power. …OK maybe not but you get the point. ) Forcing yourself to exercise is one thing, forcing yourself to exercise when you know it’s going to make you hurt more in the short term is entirely another.  

It can feel like drowning to think of all the things you know you should do, and it’s even worse when you are dealing with other stuff like depression, anxiety, and ADHD on top of your pain (like somebody I know whose name is Janet).  There is a path through the worst of it, but it’s a path that those cruel fat-phobic people have never even thought about, much less had to walk. People like that fundamentally do not understand what it’s like to be you or me. They don’t know what it’s like to trudge through a fog of pain, where every single thing you do requires effort, energy, exertion, and expenditure of pain from your finite supply.

There are some pretty great free image results for "drowning"

Pain, Weight, Jagoffs, and Finding Support 

“Weight and chronic pain” or just “weight and health and the medical establishment” is a huge issue that I’ll write a larger piece on someday– there is an enormous amount of prejudice and misinformation out there about weight and health. But until then: 

Please don’t let ignorant assholes make you feel bad about your weight or appearance.  Hating on fat people is one of the few semi-“acceptable” hates left out there, and some shitty people latch onto it. It can be incredibly hard to read some dude on Reddit screaming about CICO (calories in, calories out) and how you just need to get your ass off the couch.  But it’s important to remember that most people in the world are not like that. There are people who understand. There are people who don’t understand, but who are kind and who will listen and learn with empathy. You have to surround yourself with those people and treasure them when you do find them. In some ways, that’s just part of being an adult, but it’s so much more important for someone with a chronic condition that can frustrate efforts to get out or make new friends. I would have never gotten through the last few years without the help and support of close friends who just happen to live all over the globe. When the world around you sucks, create your own world. 

 

May 13, 2021 1 comment
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acupuncturebiofeedbackchronic painComplementary medicineHealthcare / MedicinemassageMental healthPersonal experienceRecommendations

Complementary Medicine: What Works and What Doesn’t

by Janet Jay November 22, 2020
written by Janet Jay
complementary medicine: what works and what doesn't, janetjay.com

Introduction:

Complementary medicine is not most people’s first choice. My pain started when I was 15: nobody knew what was wrong or how to fix it (I didn’t get a diagnosis or explanation for well over a decade), and after all the doctors threw up their hands, we were grasping at straws. My mother, bless her, dragged me to everything she could think of to help me, even stuff like hypnosis that I wouldn’t have chosen for myself. 

Over the last 20 years, I’ve tried (and retried) many more options. Some of them helped; most of them didn’t. The majority of complementary treatments I’ve tried have been an expensive way of pissing money away. But there ARE things that can really, truly help. Everyone is different, and everyone’s pain is different. But here’s what helped me– and what didn’t.

What is complementary medicine?

To put it simply, it’s a treatment that you use in conjunction with conventional medicine. Just as alternative medicine is used as a replacement / alternative for conventional medical treatment, complementary medicine complements the treatment plan your doctor has in place. The term “integrated health” is sometimes used to describe a holistic approach where conventional and complementary approaches are used together in a coordinated way. Out-of-pocket spending on these approaches for Americans age 4 and older amounts to an estimated $30.2 billion per year, according to the 2012 NHIS— almost 10% of OOP spending on healthcare. Money is a huge concern when discussing complementary health: while insurance may cover some of these treatments, most of them are going to be coming from your pocket.

NGL: this is much of complementary medicine

I’ll just put this out at the very start: I have a very low tolerance for woo. If it helps you? Godspeed! I’m not going to pooh-pooh the idea of finding help wherever you can. But I write about and am a big fan of science so I do like a treatment that’s supported by research. 

Just how many types of complementary medicine have I tried?

I used this list of complementary therapies as a guide. The below list is at least most of the complementary therapies I”ve tried in the last 20 years: the helpful, the not helpful, the scams and the genuine relief. I plan to write individual posts about the few treatments that truly helped me and at least one post about all the ones that didn’t. But here they are:

  • Chiropractor*
  • Hypnosis
  • Biofeedback
  • Aura / energy work
  • Reiki
  • Trigger point injections
  • Massage
  • Myofascial body work
  • Cranio-sacral body work 
  • PT (esp water therapy)
  • Occupational therapy
  • Acupuncture/electroacupuncture
  • Cupping 
  • Dance therapy (sorta)
  • Diet changes & food supplements
  • Relaxation / Guided imagery
  • Heat therapy (particularly ultrasound) 
  • Meditation, mindfulness and relaxation techniques 
  • Reflexology
  • Steam room
  • Water therapy 
  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Mental health treatment

* I have been in constant pain since I was 15 because of a chiropractor. Please, please, please do not go to a chiropractor, and if you do, look up their education and training, and even then do not let them crack your neck. (There’ll be a post about that too, eventually, but I wanted to say it here first.)

So what worked?

Stay tuned for specific articles about biofeedback, massage and bodywork like myofascial release, acupuncture, and mental health care as complementary medicine for chronic pain, as well as a roundup article of the other few that gave me some relief. I’m also working on a post about what treatments I feel to be the biggest waste of time and money.

November 22, 2020 1 comment
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