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    Is your room contributing to your insomnia? Free printable to identify the top causes of your insomnia and how to avoid them

    Image of a woman wearing a pink sleep mask hugging a big white pillow, text reads "is your room contributing to your insomnia? How to identify the top causes of your insonia... and avoid them! Free sleep Qs printable. Janetjay.com"

    Using your five senses to figure out if your room is causing your sleeplessness

    text reads: Chronic pain sleep cycle: condition or surgery causes pain, trouble getting/staying asleep, delays healing, causing more pain, increased difficulty sleeping, janetjay.com" over a cipart of a girl holding her back, Image by mamewmy on Freepik
    text reads: Chronic pain sleep cycle: condition or surgery causes pain, trouble getting/staying asleep, delays healing, causing more pain, increased difficulty sleeping, janetjay.com" over a cipart of a girl holding her back, Image by mamewmy on Freepik
    text reads: Chronic pain sleep cycle: condition or surgery causes pain, trouble getting/staying asleep, delays healing, causing more pain, increased difficulty sleeping, janetjay.com" over a cipart of a girl holding her back, Image by mamewmy on Freepik

    If you’re someone who beds down at night only to stare at the wall, have you ever considered whether your room could be contributing to your insomnia? Not being able to sleep sucks, and the combo of chronic pain and insomnia (or fibromyalgia and insomnia, or ADHD and insomnia…) is even worse. The pain cycle (see infographic!) is a hell of a companion to drag along: the more you hurt, the less you sleep, which makes you hurt more, which makes you sleep less. Rinse & repeat.

    But you have options! I’ve written about trouble sleeping with chronic pain before, but in the quest for a good night’s sleep, we often overlook the most obvious culprit: our bedroom environment.

    Believe it or not, the setup and condition of your room can significantly impact your sleep quality. If you find yourself tossing and turning night after night, it might be time to examine these factors more closely. Here are some critical things to consider about whether the room you sleep in could be contributing to your insomnia– and a free printable with important questions to ask about your sleep space.

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    Thriving as a Team: Unity & Partnership When Navigating Relationships with Chronic Pain

    silhouettes of two people kissing on a background of orange and blue, text reads "Thriving as a Team Unity and Partnership When Navigating Chronic Pain In Relationships janetjay.com

    Building a healthy relationship despite chronic pain is a complex dance, one that requires grace, patience, and of course love. Whether it’s you or your partner who’s in this continuous battle, the experience affects your relationship. But here’s what I’ve learned—both from personal experience and from others walking this path: it’s not just about managing pain, it’s about managing understanding, and support in ways that make your love and relationship stronger.

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  • Top 10 Inspirational Quotes About Chronic Pain & Joy to Motivate You Through the New Year & Beyond

    On a grey background of squares, text reads Top 10 inspirational quotes about chronic pain and joy to motivate you through the new year and beyond, janetjay.com

    Inspirational quotes about chronic pain that actually resonate with what we’re going through can be hard as hell to find. Living with constant pain or chronic illness is a tough slog, rougher than “able-bodied” people can ever know. Finding the joy in a life filled with pain is more difficult for us, but it’s also more important.

    That’s why for the new year I put together my top 10 favorite inspirational quotes about chronic pain and joy. I find value, comfort and motivation in these wise sayings about the change, growth, and happiness in life. And those of us with chronic pain need to seek out the joy however we can.

    Yes, we’re in pain, yes, it changed the foundation of our lives, and yes, it can be boring as hell. That doesn’t mean there isn’t joy and fulfillment out there too! But you have to get your head in the right place to find it, and you have to do the work.

    Janet Jay

    All we get is one life. We may not get to choose our bodies and how they break down on us, but we can make the best of what we have, strive to be more than we are, and appreciate the glimmers of joy every day.

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  • Gifts for People With ADHD: Hugely Helpful Last Minute Life Hacks

    Red sign saying "last minute" beside text reading "life hack gifts for people with adhd" above an illustration of hands with boxing gloves holding up a wrapped prsent in front of a background of other presents, janetjay.com. Art by storyset.

    Gifts for people with ADHD can be hard to figure out! So consider items that can truly make a difference in their day-to-day lives. Living with ADHD often means coping with forgetfulness, limited focus, time blindness, and organizational challenges on a daily basis. Thoughtful items like these can incredibly useful for managing this condition by improving productivity, managing symptoms, and restoring a sense of control. Whether it’s morning wake up lamps, noise-cancelling headphones, or magnetic frame hangers that let you change the look of your walls on a whim, these “life hack” gifts can assist with time management, memory, attention regulation, and reducing distractions along with helping establish the routines, reminders, and focus ADHD brains need.

    The actual presents for your loved ones with ADHD are important, but more important by far is the care and consideration that you show in choosing them. They show that you listen when your loved one describes their challenges and that you truly care about helping.

    (And there’s still time to buy them before the holidays!!!)

    The actual presents for your loved ones with ADHD are important, but more important by far is the care and consideration that you show in choosing them. They show that you listen when your loved one describes their challenges and that you truly care about helping.

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  • Surprise friends w/ The Most Useful Gifts For People With Fibromyalgia This Holiday Season

    Text reads "this holiday season, surprise your friends with the most useful gifts for people with fibromyalgia," above a smartphone wearing a santa hat and surrounded by snowflakes, smartphone screen reads "2023 gift guide, janetjay.com"

    Gifts for people with fibromyalgia aren’t hard to come up with: you just have to put yourself in their shoes. (Hopefully, cute ones.) Though fibro is an invisible disability, that doesn’t make its effects, like chronic widespread pain, fatigue, sleep issues, and sensitivity to movement and environmental stimuli, any less real. 

    If you had those limitations, what day-to-day tasks might be challenging to get through or what self-care strategies might help? Think about the particular person you’re shopping for: what do they struggle with, and how could you help?

    A well-thought-out gift shows care and compassion for your loved one and their limitations. But above all, useful gadgets and relaxation-promoting treats given as gifts for people with fibromyalgia help remind them of the greatest present of all: that you listen and that you care.

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    Quotes About Self Care (& Self Care Quotes About Invisible Illness)

    Cartoon of a woman at a desk stretching her arms over her head as a star flies overhead underneath the text "best quotes about self care, self care quotes about invisible illness & chronic pain, janetjay.com"

    Quotes about self-care, especially self-care quotes about invisible illness, are hard to come by. Well, good ones at least– you can find sappy schlock everywhere. But there are also gems, little bits of wisdom that remind me to take time for myself, helping me through the chronic pain of my invisible illnesses. Click one in the gallery below or scroll down to read a few of my favorites: where they come from, why I chose them, and what they mean to me.

    All amazon links are affiliate links, because why not? But if you have a small local bookstore, I’d much rather you buy stuff there.

    • "What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly, carl rogers, janetjay.com" on a background of blue ocean and orange sky
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  • Cool Canes For Chronic Pain: Coming soon!

    man at desk with laptop, lamp, and balled up paper, thought cloud shows a lightbulb covered in clouds. Idea illustrations by Storyset

  • New Generations, Old Genes: A Guide to Family Planning with Genetic Disorders

    "Family planning with genetic disorders" and "janetjay.com" on sheets of paper in front of six polaroids of different types of families and children

    Before starting a family, make sure you understand your genetic situation and how it can affect pregnancy and your prospective child.

    Family planning can be an exciting and emotional time for any couple. However, if you have a genetic disorder, finding your soulmate isn’t enough: there are other questions to consider. From talking to your doctor about the risks of having a child to considering alternative options such as adoption or embryo screening, navigating family planning with genetic disorders can feel overwhelming. In this guest post, Melissa Howard from StopSuicide.info explores some important steps to help you make informed decisions.

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    Best Inspiring Quotes About Invisible Illness

    A B&W line drawing of a woman with her hair in a bun sitting cross-legged reading a book, text reads "inspiring quotes about invisible illness, janetjay.com "

    Quotes about invisible illness are too often filled with sappy, inspirational cliches, IMO. But that doesn’t change the need that people with chronic pain and invisible disabilities have for guidance, understanding and truth.

    Quotes about invisible illness– why exactly? Because it’s invisible.

    Three people with their arms raised. one in a wheelchair, one in a sari, one with a leg prosthetic, carrying flags, text reads "janetjay.com, Your top Qs answered about invisible disabilities, chronic pain, mental health, and disability pride month"
    Questions about invisible disabilities? Check out this piece on Disability Pride Month!

    August is Pain Awareness Month, so I wanted to bring attention to the conditions that nobody can see. Starting in my teens I experienced chronic pain seemingly without any cause or explanation, and although I looked completely “normal” it changed every aspect of my existence. In the two decades since I’ve managed to build a life and become a person I’m proud of. During that struggle, I’ve collected a few quotes about invisible illness (and pain, hope, and joy) that really speak to me.

    Some of these quotes are from people who experience(d) invisible, chronic pain, like Anne Reeve Aldrich and Elizabeth Taylor. (And check out my profile on Selma Blair for another chronic illness badass!) Others, like the quotes from Dostoyevsky, Kahlil Gibran, and the Greek stoic Seneca illustrate the wisdom that can come from the loneliness, suffering and struggle our medical conditions (and their consequences) cause. Finally, there’s hope, which is absolutely vital for anyone with health struggles… or struggles in general. Check out the quotes from Joseph Campbell, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Frederick Buechner and Barbara De Angelis for meditations on how to keep hope alive.

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    Chronic pain & trouble sleeping: a sleep routine may be your cure for insomnia

    Cartoon in blue shades of a woman lying on her stomach in bed, looking at a clock reading "2:58 with a tired grumpy look with text around her reading "chronic pain and trouble sleeping: a sleep routine may be your cure for insomnia, janetjay.com Cartoon in blue shades of a woman lying on her stomach in bed, looking at a clock reading "2:58 with a tired grumpy look with text around her reading "chronic pain and trouble sleeping: a sleep routine may be your cure for insomnia, janetjay.com
    On a white background with a plant, a tablet and two sheets of paper read "sleep goals, current sleep, sleep routine" under text that says "free sleep noteboook printables available, www.janetjay.com
    Want to develop better sleep hygiene habits? For a limited time you can download 3 sleep routine printables for FREE to help you figure out the best strategies to get you snoozing.

    A sleep routine (aka “sleep hygiene): if you have chronic pain, anxiety, ADHD and insomnia (or any combo thereof), like I do, this simple process might just be the “cure” for insomnia you’ve been seeking. “Sleep hygiene” is the process of creating an environment that can help you fall asleep and stay asleep. Here are a few things that might be keeping you up, especially if you have chronic pain or mental health issues, and some strategies you can use to combat them. (Including a pack of free bedtime routine printables!)

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    How To: Dating With Chronic Pain or Dating With Invisible Disabilities

    On a background of red and black hearts, image of two phones side by side illustrating dating, the left with a man and a heart and the right a woman with two smiley faces, looking towards each other. Text reads "dating with chronic pain and invisible disabilities, janetjay.com"

    Dating with chronic pain is tough, especially if there’s nothing visible about your condition. Finding someone using dating dating apps like Hinge or Tinder is hard to begin with, but dating with invisible disabilities adds a whole other level of difficulty.

    In some ways using those apps would be easier if I was visibly disabled and used a wheelchair or crutches. It would at least be simpler than trying to put together a profile when I’m dating with chronic pain and dating with invisible disabilities like fibromyalgia, migraine disease, back pain, joint pain, nerve pain, and mental health issues (that’s what I’m dealing with)! But it also applies to a wide range of other issues like EDS, POTS, arthritis, Crohn’s, lupus, other autoimmune disorders, and/or any disability where you look like everyone else.

    Most of the time you wouldn’t know I’m in pain, even though I always am. But it hugely affects my life, and it’s important that anybody I have as a partner be aware of it and OK with it. No, actually, it’s important that anybody I have as a partner be supportive, empathetic and caring about it.

    But how do you find that person through the hellscape that is modern dating apps? If you’re dating with chronic pain or dating with invisible disabilities, consider the following before writing your profile.

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  • Graphic Novels About Chronic Pain: “Pain Is Really Strange”

    On a background of neurons, the cover of a graphic novel called "pain is really strange" with a head, shown with brain with a little man on top with horns with sound waves coming from them. Text reads "Graphic novels about pain: "Pain is Really Strange," by steve haines, art by sophie standing, janetjay.com"

    Graphic novels about chronic pain are few and far between: “Pain Is Really Strange” is a welcome find

    I love books, especially graphic novels. I was at the library recently and stumbled on “Pain Is Really Strange,” one of the only graphic novels about chronic pain I’ve ever seen. (Thanks, Austin Public Library!)

    Drawing of a man sitting before a poster of the human body with red lines representing nerves/pain, with a speech bubble saying "pain is really strange"

    Explaining “What is pain? How do nerves work?”

    Above all, the book does a really good job of explaining important stuff simply. Without feeling overwhelming, it not only explains the difference between chronic and acute pain but also tackles fairly complicated concepts like neurotags and brain plasticity. Getting the combo of science and visuals right isn’t an easy trick. I was especially impressed at how well this team accomplished making a comic about pain that was accurate as well as visually pleasing.

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Hopefully this site will help you avoid some of the BS I’ve experienced over the last 20 years seeking treatment for my chronic pain, invisible illnesses & mental health challenges. Maybe it’ll even help you think about disability in a new way! But at the very least, I hope you learn something, and I hope it helps you feel less alone.

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